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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25173004">Atlas In His Sleeping</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/emchewchew/pseuds/emchewchew'>emchewchew</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Water Polo, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, HEA Guaranteed, Miscommunication, Past Relationship(s), Unresolved Sexual Tension, Well less relationship more one night stand, briefest of mentions of a single date that went no where with someone not in main pairing, can i tag that twice, though neither wanted only one night</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:21:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,590</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25173004</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/emchewchew/pseuds/emchewchew</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"𝘞𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶...𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘶𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘦?" 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘴, 𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘭𝘺.</p><p>𝘏𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳. 𝘏𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘵. 𝘏𝘦-</p><p>"𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢," 𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴. </p><p>𝘏𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘵.</p><p>𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥- 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬. </p><p>𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘥- 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘭𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥.</p><p> </p><p>Rival Water Polo AU with an extra side of idiots in love.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I blame Hozier. I think it’s gonna be a two-shot. It was originally posted on twitter, so if the format feels funny, *shrugs* that’s why I suppose. I do apologize for the excessive use of italics, that just sorta happened oops.</p><p>Hope yall are staying safe and well out there.</p><p>Happy reading~</p><p> </p><p>  </p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>When you move, I move</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You're less Polunin leapin'</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Or Fred Astaire in sequins</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Honey, you, you're Atlas in his sleepin'</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And when you move, I'm moved</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Solo." It’s spoken softly, but he still catches the hint of annoyance behind it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Rey," he sputters, treading in place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's midnight. None of his teammates ever use the pool this late. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mind if I join you?" she asks, slipping off her shorts and stepping to the edge of the pool.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>𝘕𝘰, he thinks. 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭, his heart adds. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦, the fire in his blood sings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Whatever," he growls instead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shes all grace as she swims over to him, water dripping off her delicate eyelashes, and 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬, he can’t get that night out of his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rey swims a quick 200 yards, the ball she'd grabbed from him bobbing along in front of her, caught between the movement of her arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben heads back to his goal to finish his drills, but he's not thinking about the last time those arms of Reys were wrapped around his neck. He’s 𝘯𝘰𝘵.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's so caught up 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵 that he doesn't notice that Rey's swum over to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Would you...want to run some drills with me?" she asks, uncharacteristically softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can't look at her. He can't. He-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't think that's a good idea,"he replies. He hears her snort.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥, is what he should think. But god- the way his heart lurches instead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can't help but look over at her now, his eyes drawn to hers like he's 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘺 for her gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once he looks, he can't stop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The suit she's wearing highlights her collarbones, and in the low light of the natatorium, the sight is ethereal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She's left her hair down, so it floats around her, swaying gently with the waves she herself has made.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>𝘔𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘯, he thinks. 𝘐’𝘮 𝘥𝘰𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘥.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes won't stop roaming, no matter how much he'd like for them to stop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's a bad idea," he says aloud, mostly to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One lovely eyebrow arches, and then he notices the drops of water held in the curve of her collarbones. He'd like to collect them with his tongue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know like- I mean I get it, trust me, you're a Knight, I'm a Rebel, but we're both here. Might as well help each other," she says, shrugging.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't need your help, Rey," he grits out between clenched teeth, attempting to hide the groan hot on the heels of his words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just thought-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What? That I'd let you take shots at me so you can learn some new weak spots? So you can run and tell 𝘗𝘰𝘦?" he spits the name like it burns him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ben, I wouldn't-" she starts, but siren or not, he won't be fooled again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh but wouldn't you?" he seethes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She rears back as though she'd been slapped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ball she'd been holding floats between them, drifting towards Ben. He palms it, lifts it up, and chunks it clear across the pool where it lands firmly in the middle of the other goal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ben, I've told you. That wasn't me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shakes his head at this beautiful, captivating liar before him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶, he reminds himself. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘙𝘦𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘴.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He feels the crack in his heartbreak further open with every beat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Who else could have known about my shoulder? I injured it 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺, Rey," he bleats, the pain in his voice evident.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>𝘚𝘩𝘪𝘵, he thinks. 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘭 𝘪𝘵, Coach Snoke would say. 𝘜𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘵.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And then you couldn't even wait till morning to run and tell Dameron."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵," she nearly yells, "because you thought I was someone else!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She drifts closer, robbing him of breath before he can ask what she means.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You were asleep, but you kept saying these...these things...you thought I was Baz, Ben. And I couldn't take it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughs. </span>
  <span>It's an ugly sound, even to his ears. Bitter. Wrapped in shards of regret and doubt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What the 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 are you talking about?" He can't help it. He's pulled in by her gravity. He's spiraling. He leans in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bazine meant nothing. I couldn't- 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯’𝘵- ever mistake you for her."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rey's eyes drift over his face. He feels like he's gasping for air, even though he could tread with his head above water for hours.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ben, you 𝘥𝘪𝘥, though. And I-" she pauses, takes a deep breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How long have the droplets on her cheeks been tears and not pool water, he wonders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I couldn't be yet another person’s replacement for what they lost. I just...couldn't."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They've floated towards the left corner of the goal, barely a foot apart, Rey's back almost up against the goal post.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And when you said you loved me-" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>𝘖𝘩 𝘨𝘰𝘥.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He feels his soul flee his body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I knew you weren’t really awake, you weren’t aware enough to know it was...it was me," her voice shakes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She won't meet his eyes. He has to tell her, explain--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So I left, Ben. And it's- it's okay. It 𝘪𝘴," she says like she's said it a million times before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She finally looks up. </span>
  <span>She gives him the smallest smile he's ever seen grace her sweet face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Rey," he croaks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She reaches out to touch his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, no, Ben, listen, please-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's had enough. He’s listened enough. Beat himself up enough. He grabs her shoulder on the same side she's grabbed his. </span>
  <span>Their elbows lock. A stalemate their bodies know all too well after years of playing polo. Rey's back bumps the post.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Rey, none of the other Rebels could have known to target my injury. You were the only one I saw between practice and the finals the next day," he rushes out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He thought this was an old pain by now, but it feels fresh all over again. Rey's free hand moves. </span>
  <span>It travels as if in slow motion to run her fingertips from the outside edge of his open shoulder to the side of his neck and back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben shivers despite the waters warm temperature.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you ever even consider-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rey pauses, licks her lips. He knows that they taste not just of chlorine but also of cherry chapstick.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-instead of blaming 𝘮𝘦- that it could have been someone who was actually at the pool when it happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben can’t stop staring at her mouth. </span>
  <span>He hears the words. Watches her lips form them, but-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Someone at the pool?" Surely that's not 𝘩𝘪𝘴 voice that's so breathy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, Ben," she whispers."Someone who might have benefited from taking you out of the finals. And even the game for good." Her hand has stopped moving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wasn't you.” He means for it to be a question, but it doesn't come out as one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ben, I'd never do anything to hurt you like that. Rivalries be damned."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hand that's been resting gently on his shoulder suddenly changes its grip, digs into his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even if...if you don't feel the way I do, you have to know I wouldn't be that cruel.” She has 𝘯𝘰 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢 how he feels, he realizes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn't stop his hand from coming up to latch onto her other shoulder even if he wanted to. </span>
  <span>He has the physical advantage here, but if she only 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 the power she holds over him...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rey, for six months, you've let me believe it was you. Why now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shakes her head. They're still locked in a stalemate, arms extended, both gripping tightly to the other. </span>
  <span>Rey drops her right arm, uses her hips to spin them around. </span>
  <span>Ben's back hits the post.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 to explain, but Snoke,” she snarls,“had you convinced it was my fault."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He remembers when he first believed she'd been the one to tell Poe. Right after a meeting with his coach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you didn't seem interested in...well in me,” she looks away again,distracted. “Ya know, after...after everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>𝘞𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨, his heart is snarling,throwing itself against the cage of his chest. 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨. One hand leaves her shoulder, sliding towards her neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He presses his advantage, pulls them away from the net and towards the wall of the pool.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sweetheart."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes go wide.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His fingers find their way into her hair, his thumb coming up to ghost along her chin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>𝘋𝘰𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘥, he thinks again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As they move, her hands drift from his shoulders to lay gently against his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I have 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They hit the wall. He tilts Rey’s head back gently, just over the lip of the edge of the pool as he presses forward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His other hand drops to her hip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-been interested.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you didn’t want back story, I do apologize. It ran away from me. I hope it’s okay I bumped it to three chapters. I really am sorry I have no self-control.<br/>Please mind the time jumps (should be clear).<br/>Also, these babies are not so good at communicating, clearly, but this is fiction, so please don’t be too hard on them. I promise a HEA always :)<br/>Happy reading~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> I still watch you when you're groovin' </em>
</p><p>
  <em> As if through water from the bottom of a pool </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You're movin' without movin' </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And when you move, I'm moved </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> 2014 </em>
</p><p>The sun was relentlessly angry- like one big energy draining bully- the day they met six years ago. That’s what she remembers first when she lets herself reminisce.</p><p>She’d been sitting in the stands of Stanford’s outdoor aquatic center. An awning had loomed, vast like a dragon’s wing overhead, but she somehow found the one seat the sun managed to shine on.</p><p>The game she’d been watching was in the first quarter, somewhere in the seventh minute, when the sun’s rays beating down on her suddenly ceased their barrage. </p><p>She looked up.</p><p>He was tall, so tall, tall enough to cover up the sun, this man standing before her. What light his shoulders didn’t block his dark hair seemed to swallow. This is the second thing she remembers.</p><p>Before really getting a good look at his face, she turned away, trying to focus on the game.</p><p>“Saving that seat?” he asked, gesturing with one monstrous hand to the spot next to her. </p><p>She barely remembers shaking her head no, even though she was, in fact, saving seats.</p><p>He sat.</p><p>She <em> tried </em> to pay attention to the game, but she couldn’t really tear her mind away from the fact that his thigh rested merely an inch away from hers on the bench. They were both wearing shorts, and his leg- which somehow managed to be pale as fuck even in the middle of summer- seemed to radiate heat next to hers. </p><p>Rey had never given much thought to the actual physical distance of an inch or all the tension it could possibly contain before that day.</p><p>She would spend <em> a lot </em> of time thinking about it afterward.</p><p>As she pondered the pros and cons of just letting her thigh relax and maybe letting it brush <em>his </em>thigh, if only for a second, maybe even a minute or so-- the game moved into the second quarter. </p><p>“Blueberry?” the man sitting next to her interrupted her thoughts, holding out a tupperware of the fruit.</p><p>She didn’t look at him, hadn’t really been able to since he’d shown up. Rey shook her head, heard a small huff next to her.</p><p>“Suit yourself, kid.”</p><p><em> Excuse me, </em> she thought before abruptly turning to give this buffoon a glare.</p><p>A mistake- she admitted to herself even in the moment. </p><p>He was sitting closer than she realized, and as she turned, her elbow knocked his arm holding the tupperware.</p><p>Eighteen, nineteen, maybe twenty blueberries flew through the air, sailing straight towards the couple sitting in front of them.</p><p>“Shit--”</p><p>“I’m so sorry, I--” </p><p>The couple simultaneously jerked forward as though hit with something much larger and significantly more damaging than a mere handful of blueberries. </p><p>“What the fuck, dude?” the man growled before turning around.</p><p>“Hey, listen, it was an accident--” Rey started to explain.</p><p>“Henderson,” the man next to her drawls, completely unbothered now that he sees who his blueberries hit. “Didn’t see you there, man. Sorry bout that. Just a little extra antioxidants for ya.” </p><p>The man, still with a blueberry unknowingly caught in his hair, paled as he looked up at them. </p><p>“Oh r-right. Sure. Yeah. No problem, Cap.” </p><p>He whipped back around and whispered something to the woman sitting next to him, and the two left their seats nodding to Rey and mystery man next to her as they scurried away.</p><p>
  <em> What the hell was that? </em>
</p><p>“My apologies,” said the man.</p><p>“Shouldn’t I be the one apologizing?” she asked, turning again towards him, though more slowly this time. “I mean-- I’m the one who cost you all those ‘extra antioxidants’, right?”</p><p>The corners of his mouth- <em> and what a mouth it was- </em> lifted slowly until there was a full smirk resting on his admittedly intriguing face. Looking at him then, Rey could’ve sworn he didn’t register her mocking tone one bit. Or maybe he <em> did </em> and he just really didn’t care.</p><p>“Naw, sweethea-- ah uh,” he cleared his throat. “No. No, you don’t need to apologize. My fault for bringing an open container in this crowd in the first place.” He shrugged his massive shoulders.</p><p>Rey unconsciously bit her bottom lip and nodded at the confusingly attractive man.</p><p>He held out his hand.</p><p>“Name’s Ben, by the way. What’s yours?”</p><p>The third thing that always stands out in this memory is the feeling of shaking his hand and how it was not unlike the few moments of suspended time after a wave pulls you underwater. </p><hr/><p>
  <em> Now </em>
</p><p>“Always, Rey,” he repeats gruffly, his fingers meeting her skin where her suit rides up on her hip. His thumb sweeps back and forth several times before just barely slipping underneath the edge of her suit.</p><p>“Ben,” she very nearly whines, head lolling back to be held up completely by his hand.</p><p>She feels him tremble underneath her hands and at her neck and on her hip. </p><p>Her fingers fan out where they’re resting on his chest before creeping upwards. The water around them has mostly stilled, only small ripples lap at her elbows where they sit just above the surface.</p><p>He hums in response, lazily leaning in until his nose just <em> barely </em> grazes the tip of hers.</p><p>She feels the warmth of his breath against her lips as he softly cradles the weight of her head in his hand and rumbles, “Rey.” </p><p>She can’t deny the longing she hears in that single word. The hope, either.</p><p>She feels her cheeks flush.</p><p>He moves achingly slowly, lips traveling just out of reach of her cheek, then her neck as he bends over her, her senses surrounded, <em> consumed </em> by him.</p><p>The flush spreads into her chest, deepens as her heart pounds faster. <em> And faster.  </em></p><p>He pushes her further up against the wall of the pool, careful still not to crush her, though he could. She knows he could.</p><p><em> Gentle giant </em> , she thinks fondly. <em> Mine </em>, some part of her howls.</p><p>Except--</p><p>Except he’s not.</p><p>No matter how <em> interested </em>he may be.</p><p>The moment shatters. Rey’s hands freeze. She straightens, pulls back. Feels the fingers that had been in her hair unclench, drift away. </p><p>She takes a deep breath, looking up and into his eyes.</p><p>Something situated deep in her chest screams at the way his fingers at her hip finally unlatch and pull away, too, at whatever he finds in her gaze.</p><hr/><p>
  <em> 2014 </em>
</p><p>“Rey,” Finn said hesitantly, sitting down, “do you know who that was?”</p><p>Rey watched her tall new friend move down the stairs toward the practice pools before looking askance at Finn.</p><p>“I mean,” she said slowly. “We just met, but his name’s Ben. He plays for the school, but he mentioned some club team, too. The...Knights, I think?”</p><p>Finn and Rose shared a glance.</p><p>Rose cleared her throat. “He told you his name was...Ben?” </p><p>Rey didn’t know what to make of the apprehension in the faces of her friends.</p><p>“Yeah. He seemed nice? Is-- is he-- why?” she asked haltingly. Ben had been so chill about the blueberries and pointed out intricacies of the plays in the game they were watching that she would’ve never noticed as a college freshman. He’d been consistently patient answering every one of her endless questions. Generous with his knowledge and witty in his answers.</p><p>Rose nudged Finn.</p><p>“Peanut,” he said, apologetically, “that was Kylo Ren.”</p><p>For Rey, the final significant moment in this memory is feeling the wave of euphoria she’d been riding turn brittle and icy as disappointment flooded her veins.</p><hr/><p>
  <em> Now </em>
</p><p>Ben pulls back only slightly, his eyebrows furrowed.</p><p>“Is-- are you okay, Rey? Should I….” he trails off.</p><p>“We shouldn’t do this. Again,” Rey whispers, reaching up to pull away the strand of hair that had fallen into her eyes.</p><p>Ben says nothing for a moment. The shadows playing on his face only serve to accentuate the handsome features Rey wishes she didn’t see in her dreams. He blinks. Once. Twice. </p><p>“Is this...about my shoulder? Because it’s fine now, and I-- I believe you,” he insists, moving back to put about a foot of space between them. </p><p>Rey has to actively <em> fight </em> her body’s attempt to drift closer to him.</p><p>“I mean...I’m still not sure who...well I don’t know what happened or who told Poe,” he says quickly, “but I know it wasn’t you. I believe you,” he asserts more confidently this time.</p><p>“I’m glad, really. But that doesn’t change the fact that this is a bad idea.” </p><p>She sounds forlorn even to her ears, and she hates it, wishes she could rip out that part of her that thinks it needs him, even after all this time.</p><p>She doesn’t need him. She has her friends, her teammates. The people she’s chosen as her family. She shouldn’t even want him, but--</p><p>She doesn’t notice the tears this time, but he does.</p><p>“Baby, what’s wro--”</p><p>“That’s it, though,” she snaps, her face contorting into a scowl. “Isn’t it? I’m not your baby, Kylo.”</p><p>All color drains from his face at her use of that name. His beautiful mouth frowns.</p><p>“Rey. Talk to me. Please.”</p><p>It’s Rey’s turn to laugh.</p><p>“I just did. I told you,” her voice cracks, “I won’t be <em> anybody’s </em> back up, not even yours.”</p><p>Ben shakes his head.</p><p>“And I told <em>you</em>- you were never a back up, never second best. You’re all I’ve thought about, Rey, how can you not see that?” he wails.  “Even before that night! Every time I drove you home, helped you after practice, stayed up till the sun came up talking with you--” he takes a single gasping breath before he continues. “I don’t even care if no one else knew. I don’t care if I was just another friend to you, Rey. I’d do it all over again because <em>all</em> I’ve wanted for the last <em>six years</em> was to be a part of your life, any way you’d have me. You were <em>there</em>, Rey, all those years, you have to know the truth.”</p><p>There’s a fire <em> burning </em> behind his words and the fire in her rises up to meet it. She pushes off the wall, swims right up to him.</p><p>“I <em> was </em> there, Ben, in <em> your bed </em>. And I heard you. Not even two hours after we-- we--” she catches her breath, rakes a hand through her hair. He waits for her to finish, but his eyes have only grown darker.</p><p>“You were saying things you couldn’t have meant for me, things about--” she pauses and gestures wildly in the air, “about a future, about giving me a fucking garden, I think, I don’t even know…”</p><p>Ben reaches out to hold the hand that had been flinging water in his face moments before. She grips his fingers tightly.</p><p>“And then you said you loved me, and I knew,” she’s not backing down until she says her piece. She gets a chance to explain what she saw, what she knows. </p><p>This fight has been a long time coming and she wants to flush out every bit of frustration she’s been walking around with so he knows even in spite of the fact that she may still <em> want </em> him- she doesn’t need him. </p><p>“I knew the truth. I’d heard you were dating Bazine, that it was getting serious before you broke up. You never mentioned her, obviously, but then again, we never talked about shit like that, did we? Fuck. I mean- I shouldn’t have even been at your place that night, but I couldn’t stop myself. I’d wanted it for so long.”  </p><p>Ben tries to interrupt, but she doesn’t let him.</p><p>“Did you know they called you two a power couple, Ben? I’m sure you were. I mean, she’s a fucking Olympian, of course you’d be meant for each other. Of course you’d love her still,” she says it like she’s tried to justify this train of thought a thousand times already.</p><p>“And even lying in your arms,” at this, she sees him flinch. “I knew I was worth more than that. I may come from nothing, but I <em> deserve </em> more than that. And that’s how I walked away, Ben. That’s how I’ve learned to be fine, no matter how much I- I wanted more than you were willing to give,” she finishes resolutely. </p><p><em> There </em> , she thinks. <em> It’s done. </em> </p><p>She was worried she’d cry while laying it all out there, but as she treads in front of this man that’s been such a constant in her life even when it didn’t make sense- she sees something like awe in his features. Something warm and determined she definitely didn’t expect to see after this conversation. </p><p>Ben reaches out his other hand.</p><p>“I know you could out-tread my sorry ass on your own. You don’t have to, though,” he says, shrugging.</p><p>It’s normal to take turns letting your practice partner hold you up. </p><p>She accepts his help.</p><p>“Okay,” Ben begins, looking her dead in the eye. “First of all, I want to be very clear about something.”</p><p>She braces herself.</p><p>“Bazine and I went on one date when I was a freshman in college. Three years before I met you. I’ve spoken to her four times since then, all of which were within the context of tournament seedings. I don’t know what rumor mill that story you just told me came from, but I don’t love Bazine, Rey. I never did.”</p><p>Her mouth gapes open a little bit.</p><p>His words are like a wrecking ball to the narrative she’s spun these last few months.</p><p>It feels impossible, but there’s something there in his words. An earnestness, a sincerity. </p><p>She feels the weight she’s been lugging around in her heart for half a year ever so cautiously begin to lighten.</p><p><em> This is one of those moments </em> , Rey realizes in the back of her mind. <em> Just before the wave hits. </em></p><p>“You never did?” she asks because she might believe him, but she wants to hear it again.</p><p>“Nope,” he says.</p><p>“But, Kaydel said--”</p><p>“Rey Johnson, I never loved Bazine. Not even close.”</p><p>Her grip on his hands tightens.</p><p>“Okay. Okay, that’s….noted,” she swallows, trying to clear her throat that’s suddenly gone dry.</p><p>“Was that...the only thing you wanted to be clear about?” she clarifies, barely daring to feed the small flicker of hope that’s taken root in her chest. </p><p><em> Surely, I wasn’t </em> that <em> wrong, </em> she thinks. </p><p>He smiles almost shyly. </p><p>She knows that smile.</p><p><em> Shit </em> , she thinks. <em> I </em> was <em> that wrong. </em></p><p>“There uh, there are a couple more things I’d like to clarify.” </p><p>She raises her eyebrows and pulls him a little closer.</p><p><em> Oh god </em> , goes the refrain in her mind. <em> Oh god, oh god. </em></p><p>“Look,” Ben takes a deep breath before continuing. “It may turn out to be the biggest fuck up of my life and you can say it was just sleep loosening my tongue, but it doesn’t matter, sweetheart.” </p><p>Her hands begin to shake ever so slightly where they’re clenched around his. </p><p>
  <em> Oh god, oh god. </em>
</p><p>He gives one big squeeze to her fingers.</p><p>“What matters is you were right, Rey. I <em> don’t </em> deserve you,” he pauses, drawing her closer still.</p><p>“But that doesn’t mean <em> I want you </em> any less.”</p><p>The small flicker in her chest grows.</p><p>“Or that if I said I loved you six months ago, sleep talking or not, <em> I meant every word. </em>”</p><p>The hope <em> roars </em> to life.</p><p>She reaches up, almost unconsciously, to touch his cheek. </p><p>“I would have meant every word if I had said it a year ago,” he pulls her to his chest, wrapping an arm around her waist. </p><p>“Or if I’d said it four years ago,” his voice has turned to a rasp. She can feel it rumble in his chest. </p><p>Her fingers hover over his lips, barely daring to trace them as such <em> precious </em> words fall from them.</p><p> “Or if I were to even say it now,” he says, kicking lightly to keep them afloat. His arm around her is strong, steady. The hand she holds doesn’t shake, doesn’t waver. He threads their fingers.</p><p><em> “Right now </em> , Rey. I love <em> you </em>, and that’s the truth.”</p><p>She can’t stop the shy giggle that slips past her lips at this. She is-- </p><p>Overwhelmed. </p><p>Elated. </p><p>Relieved.</p><p>She leans forward, her forehead coming to rest on his. Rey’s hand moves to cradle his jaw, her thumb still resting just below his bottom lip. </p><p>Her eyes begin to drift shut, letting this new memory wash over her.</p><p>She’s just giving herself over to the waves of grief at lost time and miscommunication, reassurance that there’s clarity now, and the unhindered joy of being <em> loved </em> when she feels his lips brush hers in the faintest of touches. </p><p>He’s still hesitant, but it feels like coming home to Rey, this gentle sweeping of his lips against hers.</p><p>She can’t help the laugh that bubbles up again. This time, it bursts from her lips, causing Ben to pull away ever so slightly so he can look at her smile. He unabashedly returns her grin, the dimples in his cheeks creasing to give him a look of youth she’s missed seeing in the last few months.</p><p>She’s just leaning in again, prepared to help him understand how <em> very much </em> she wants this when--</p><p>The lights come on overhead and the main door to the pool swings open with a resounding bang.</p><hr/><p>
  <em> 6 Months Ago </em>
</p><p>“Mmmm. Mah goowl,” he mumbles, nuzzling her hair.</p><p>“Ben?” she asks softly, blinking the exhaustion from her eyes. </p><p>His arms tighten around her waist. His bathroom door is cracked just enough to allow a single sliver of light to fall across his face. His eyes are shut. </p><p>“My girl,” he repeats, “gerna tay karove yew.” </p><p>She giggles.</p><p>“Ben, what are you trying to say?” she whispers, feeling her heart swell at the knowledge that he sleep talks. At the fact that now she <em> knows </em> that he sleep talks.</p><p>“Gonna taykare of you. Gonna givew uh gerden wif dayzehs.” She feels him place gentle, sloppy kisses into her hair. </p><p>Rey’s heart rate skyrockets. Is he…talking to her? Surely, he’s not saying what she thinks he’s saying. Maybe it’s just a weird dream.</p><p>“Dayzees. Domatoes. Enerfing.”</p><p>The pounding in her ears is loud, so loud. </p><p>
  <em> Daisies? Tomatoes? What-- </em>
</p><p>“Anyfing you wann,” he slurs.</p><p>She stiffens in his arms. “Ben,” she says a little louder, feeling like she needs to stop whatever this is.</p><p>“Mbee.” </p><p>Her heart stops. Does he….does he mean Baz--</p><p>“Bay. Bay. Bee.” </p><p>He does. He doesn’t know it’s her, he--</p><p>“Lervyew,” he sighs.</p><p>He doesn’t stir as she lets the tears fall, and she doesn’t wake him as she slips out the door, either.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I am very anxious about posting this chapter, but I needed to get it out instead of posting a monster of a chapter later. If you liked it, I really would appreciate hearing it. Hopefully, the cliff hanger doesn’t leave you too upset deep *hides*</p><p>As always, you can find me on twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/emchewchew">here</a> come say hi or try to pry the italics button from my cold dead fingers :) :) :)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>PS<br/>I made a little thread with (pretty much) irrelevant little headcanons I have for this AU. Its got lots of pictures in case you're unfamiliar with water polo and want a visual aid. You can find it on my twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/emchewchew/status/1281345440605179904?s=20">here</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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